Heart Attack Biscuits

I had a rough day. My allergies started going strong, which resulted in a massive headache for the last few days, which resulted in me popping motrin like candy so that I could function and tolerate sound and light.

Then I got home and wanted to finish up another blog post. Only to find out my card reader does not seem to work any more. It looks like it's the card reader because chunks of plastic are coming off of it. I can get it to read if I hold it together but rejects when I try to delete anything off of the card. The gist of which is that there are no pics and I needed to make something to make me feel better.

Well I kinda made a mess making these. I don't know how to make biscuits without flinging flour all over my kitchen. And that's if I'm lucky and it's just flour not dough that gets caked on everything. One day I'll figure it out.....

Oh and don't take my approach and jump between recipes. It does not work well. You end up forgetting to add leavening and only realize it after you have scooped all the dough into the pan so you have to scoop it all back out and clean the pan which means you have also over worked the dough.

So here's the recipe. Don't blame me if you end up in the hospital with a heart attack if you make these.


Heart Attack Biscuits
based on Touch of Grace Biscuits in Bakewise, by Shirley O Corriher

1/2 lb bacon, cut into small chunks
2 cups cheddar, shredded
a few branches of parsley, finely chopped
green onion, finely chopped
2 cups White Lily AP flour, sifted
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp baking powder
2/3 cup heavy cream
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup AP flour, for shaping
3 tbsp butter, melted


Cook the bacon. Remove the bacon bits and allow the remaining fat to cool in the pan until solified.
Sift together the White Lily, salt and baking powder.
Scoop up 1/4 cup of the solidified bacon drippings and cut into the flour until you have small pieces the size of peas.
Stir in the cheese, bacon pieces and herbs.
Pour in the cream and about 3/4 of the buttermilk.
Stir just to combine.
Add more buttermilk as necessary until it looks like cottage cheese, at least in texture.
Put the flour in a very large bowl.
Pour the dough on top of the flour.
Dust your hands with flour.
Pull off chunks and toss in your hands to coat in flour.
Place in a greased pan.
Repeat until you run out of dough, pressing the balls up against each other in the pan.
Bake at 425 for 20 minutes or until golden brown.
Brush with melted butter once they come out.
Call a doctor ahead of time so that they are ready for you once you start eating and have a heart attack.